There was a king who had a beautiful white horse. When he was going for a journey he would only use that horse because he loved it so much. One day the servant of the King found the horse had fallen into a pit. Now they came to the King and said, “King, your lovely horse has fallen into the pit.”
The King came and saw the horse in the pit and he was deep with sympathy, for he did not like to see the horse suffering. He made the decision to bury the horse in the pit in order to stop the suffering. The servant put soil into the pit, but as the soil hit the leg of the horse, it would jump and the soil would go under its feet. Gradually as they put more soil, the horse kept on jumping and pressing down the soil. Eventually the pit was filled, and the horse came out of the pit.
I want to be like that horse, not to lose hope. Even as problems come to bury me, I want to put them under my feet.
I was a farmer in South Sudan and my children were all in school. I could afford many things, nice things for the family.
But there was war. And there was shooting and killing so I made the decision to leave the country with my children.
The distance is about 40 kilometres and we walked. There were very many people walking. It was difficult because some of the kids were so little. They could not really go far, and they were very tired. There was no water.
Here, in the settlement it’s like you are tied up. You don’t have freedom. You cannot really afford much other than the little you’ve been given. Whether you are old or young, you are viewed as a small child. Life feels so difficult. I was really having a lot of stress thinking about what I had lost and left behind. I was always sick, so I could not work.
Life here has also affected the children so much. They were even asking me to take them back to South Sudan. Their minds would flashback to what had happened, and they were confused.
I had heard of Tutapona and I decided to go for the program. I learned that I need to have trust and have someone that I am able to share things with when I’m in trouble. When I got here it was really very difficult to trust. When I was in South Sudan we were there with people that we knew, but here people are just put randomly, so you don’t know your neighbour. That was also hard.
Before the program I could hardly sleep. I’d spend the night changing sides, awake. But now I can sleep like a baby. Now, grudges no longer have space in my heart. We have trust among ourselves in the community.
Sometimes, when the children feel life is so difficult and they come with a lot of questions, I tell them that we need to calm down. I sit and talk with them and pray with them. We pray to God that He will give us the strength. And we will be the winners.
In this world, you need to go with the challenges. And shake them a lot. Because the children will also follow in your foot path.
Of course I’m not in my country now, I’m outside my country, but after going to the Tutapona program I feel very happy, like I’m in my own country.
*Name has been changed to protect the individual and her family